Balance

If you ask a Singaporean how they would describe Hong Kong, this is the typical answer:

Unfriendly

Expensive

Good Dim Sum

Being Asia’s financial hub comes without the unspoken obligation for all Hong Kongers to be constantly pressed for time, always dressed to the nines (even for a casual grocery store run), and to sport a perpetually unfriendly demeanor. It isn’t that we don’t like you…but…surely Google could have provided you with whatever you’re about to inconvenience me for. These attributes are not random, nor are they founded upon this belief that we hate everyone. Rather, these traits go hand in hand with the city’s infatuation with the financial industry. Hong Kong has embodied the key traits associated with the world of finance with its focus on efficiency, formality and meticulousness. Simply living in the city, amongst the hustle and bustle of constant financial transactions, and walking through the sea of bankers clad in shades of navy and charcoal in Central District, instills in you these qualities.

However, even for a great romance like Wall Street and Hong Kong, the “honeymoon period” ends, and you are left having grown accustomed to a mindset that celebrates overworking, and invalidates the feeling of being “burnt out”. Somehow everyone around you is converging towards this concept of burning out...slowly and surely approaching that mental and physical state but pausing just short of it. If you’re not burnt out, you’re not doing it right.

Isn’t that disappointing?

How is it that our success is quantified by how run out we become? How worn out we look. Why do we congratulate one another for missing social events on the account of demanding work schedules? I speak for those who grew up in a similar environment to what Hong Kong is, ie a competitive one where everyone seems to be more bothered about what you’re doing than what they’re doing themselves. This is far too common, especially in schools, where parents are knee deep in not only their kids’ education, but also involved in who ever else happens to be in their social sphere. Having grown up surrounded by this thinking, I’ve found that we, speaking very broadly here, tend to glamorize overworking. I find myself too worried to take time off, reluctant to reply too quickly to texts - all on account of what others would perceive my work life balance to be. If I’m too responsive, then I’m not working hard enough. If I don’t check my email, speak about work constantly, then I’m not driven. All of these thoughts stem from the same root of placing too much importance on what everyone else around you thinks. Having grown up in a fiercely competitive environment, it is near to impossible to tune out the opinions of others. More often times, no one ever really says anything to you about what they think. You’re just lost in a world of expectations you’ve conjured up, because that’s all that has driven you to succeed in the past.

All throughout our formative years, our incentive was to outperform everyone else around us. Our motivation came from wanting to supersede our classmates, our friends. It’s quite a successful tactic because it speaks to basic human nature of survival for the fittest. However, while mankind has evolved for the better, this thinking has left a lot of us confused in finding our purpose. I find that if you do not have a genuine, honest intention, and are faced with more challenges, those become exceedingly difficult to overcome. This is my latest conundrum. Over thought out expectations aside, and independent of whatever someone may think, what drives you?

Switch off your phone. Ignore those emails for a few hours on the weekend. Get rid of that guilty pang in your chest. Burning out isn’t sexy. It isn’t cool. And don’t let someone else make you believe that it is. They just wish they had someone telling them the same.

Prioritize yourself, and your wellbeing. Shift the focus from what others think, to what you think about yourself. Find your motive.

And when you do, those formidable, challenging days, won’t seem so hard to overcome.

I think. I’m not there yet, but, here’s hoping soon.